"When the anthropomorphized embodiment of life and its associated good and ill fortunes, whether through random capriciousness or outright malice, does gift a person with citric fruits of a distinctive yellow colour, then the person in question has both the right and priviledge to demand that life recede in this decision and withdraw its earlier gift of citric fruits. In raising my voice, I shall further emphasize that the gentleman in question has the right to turn to anger! I asked not for citric fruits, which are both highly acidic and of exceptionally sour and caustic taste! To what practical or sensible application can these yellow citric fruits be put? Issue forth bellicose summons for the being whom life doth cite as its administrator and immediate superior, and instill in the aforementioned administrator a deep regret for its heinous and irresponsible decision! Clearly, life executes its power in both in ignorance and in carelessness, else it would not have bequeathed useless citric yellow fruits upon myself, Cave Johnson! Henceforth, I do declare that I shall command my subordinates, who are talented and knowledgeable in matters most scientific, to convert these citric yellow fruits into combustible devices with which to immolate life's place of dwelling!"
-Cave Johnson, Forsooth! the purpose for which we, as a collective body scientific, came to be at this specific place on this day of the week, I do declare, has been satisfied in the utmost.
