From time to time Quinn seems to collect her thoughts. Sadly, because she feels like she more and more loses track of them. She does not carry it around as a book, but hides the papers in an existing one she has with her. To get hold of that book and its private contents, one would have to steal it from one of the pockets, fixed on Quinns armor.
As she kept the pages just like that, it is hard to point out an order or a date, unless she mentions core-events. They really are less of a Journal than an attempt to keep her mind from slipping away... which becomes evident in some of her writings.
The writings themselves are written like Quinn speaks; Very clear, very easy to read, without any artful drawings in lines and shapes...
Disclaimer: Obviously the things she writes are not my opinions or believes or whatever and im terribly afraid people mistake that and are offended. ;-; Don't make the earless Fennec sad! Lili likes everyone! But Quinn is a mean ice-queen. ;-;
Entry #36
A brave new world. Is this not what it should be? What this City should rise to, now that the shadow of the Valentines is starting to bleach with a rising Sun? I am not so convinced. Lismore has a history of foul leadership, of questionable intent, of strange circumstances leading to some to reach power. It would just be the fourth leader in a row of corrupt or shady Lords and Ladys of Lismore, from all I can gather.
Ciran is dead. And I am not aware of the circumstances, other than that he presumably attacked Zepira, the winged Demon the Paladins describe as Angel like descendents of their holy gods, blind in their believes. And Emir, the Bodyguard? And Minister of the last Leadership. I am not sure what to make out of this. He was flawed. He told me so and even if he had not told me, it would have been more than obvious. He is impulsive, does not think his actions through, set on what he was taught without accepting different mindsets. A true Paladin. Like all of those false Holymen, sliding over the World like full fletched Messiahs over the reputation of their kind. At least he was a true Paladin.
But this is not fair. He was one of those bad examples. Not unlike Derrin. And not unlike Derrin, he at least said he was willing to change. I was willing to believe him, because Mariannah made me reconsider my image. Maybe there are few that are not just blind fools, that have more character in them than zealous believes in a holy being that does not care for the hell on earth Orders like Kynesguard are trying to stop before it is to late. But more and more she is letting me down.
I do not know what is wrong with me in her terms. I wish I had her around me more often... Even when she is just... scolding me for what happened to my arm and never lets go. Even though she believes so firmly in Zepira as an angelic warden, serving in our best interest even though she seems to avoid me recently.
...
On the Matter of Ciran, it is sadly less grief that drives me to pursue this matter and that made me burst into the Meeting. But the fact how he judged. Zepira and Emir. Both are stronger than him. I had enough chances to witness. He fought him, and they killed him in self-defense... Or so it is said. As I know now, he committed more than enough evil deeds that make me reconsider my decision to give him a chance of redemption. But killing him was wrong. They could have disabled him, bring him to court. Both of them would have been able to, and they just decide that EXECUTION - as the new Lord put it - was the right choice. Laughable. The boy is merely days in his throne and already has the nerves to correct me, while he clearly lacks the understanding.
Ciran committed a murder as it is said and was punished for this before. I have to admit I was not aware of this but even if it is true, it may disappoint me, but it does not change my point. He is declared a criminal and considered as executed without a trial. And the new Lord is content with it. Have there been investigations though? Have there been interrogations? No. The Minister and the Archangel just said, and there for it was fact. No questions asked. No doubts to be had. Ridiculous. And he even went out to say that, when I delivered Justice for Edhel Valentine, I committed an even greater crime.
Xahu did not understand. I even asked him; If Zepira and Emir were dead and Ciran on trail, would be he treated with the same simple nod to acknowledge that he just acted in self-defense?
I do not doubt Emir is loyal. And while I am not as blind to see Zepira as anything but as an allied form of a Demon, following a different set of colors, I acknowledge it was a honorable Time when fighting a long her side. But considering there is no Evidence that their claim is right I can't consider them as anything but suspects for breaking The Law... in a case of murder. And Xahu should see it the same way, instead of repeating the mistake so many before him made, by getting blinded by past experience, by Ranks and to much trust. Fangshi was once a friend of Xahus Mother and yet she kidnapped his entire family and attempted to Murder his Father. You should think this should teach him to be a little more careful with these things... But the Punishments he set out to the Valentines was appropriate. Maybe once I can discuss this matter with him, I can make the Boy understand that my intent was not to blame his minister, but to make him see that if he wants to REALLY lead this City to a better time, he needs to treat everyone with equal fairness and equal distrust, giving everyone under his rule the same voice...
But maybe... I am just to passionate about this. Apparently... I care more for this city than I should. Never before did I undertake so much just to make sure I could intervene in a Resistance. I WANTED the Valentines to be guilty. I WANTED the resistance to be valid. I WANTED to help the citizens succeed. Usually i would just have stand down, delivered the likes of Athian and Aryn to the authorities for the act of treason they unfolded in front of me, till I found evidence myself to join in on overthrowing a rulership. But...I never had a home before either since our name turned from that of a Noble family to ashes and gravestones... and no matter how bad Wright thinks of me; Having him here, with me after so many years makes this city so much more to me... and yet makes me worry so deeply about its future...
Sometimes i worry if i should leave, before my good intentions cause to much unrest...
