Ascari Fu Sheng's Journal

[Tenaar Feiri]

<This is Prince Ascari's personal journal. It would not be publicly accessible, though anyone with access to his bedroom would be able to view it.>

#1

Dear journal,

I've been advised to keep as many records of my thoughts as possible, both for future reference should I ever become emperor but also because it is supposedly a good way to organize my thoughts.
I am not sure why, but mother seems to think it is required. So here we are.

Where do I begin?
I remember as a child I used to be almost obsessed with being first in everything. First to learn new things. First to become a mage. ... First to marry, which at least was the only thing that came true. Daliyah is her name and she is a ramau. She is a wonderful woman, and she has been with me since we were young. I had half expected father to disapprove of my falling below my rank but he has been surprisingly tolerant of this. I suspect he is sjust pleased that I am marrying a woman, unlike Xylan whom I have learned actually ran away.

It is all a little confusing and I might touch upon the subject later. Right now I just want to get whomever will read this in the future up to speed on current events.

Alyssa got married yesterday too! Like me, she married below her rank, to some guy named Velius. I am not sure what to think of him. Alyssa barely knows him. Heck, he barely knows himself. What if somewhere underneath that layer of amnesia lays a killer of the worst kind? I am definitely going to keep a good eye on him. I expect Arwyn does too, whenever he is done marrying his two girls as well.

The party went pretty well too, for both my sister and I. Lots of guests, lots of fun. I have come to realize, however, that I have not been enjoying myself as much as I should. These events have been tiring to say the least, and a little inconvenient. While I am happy about all of this, I find myself constantly distracted by other things. Like thinking about my first visit to the cave of challenges.
It shocked me back then, but the more I think about it, the less bad do I feel about killing the orc. I kind of want to do it again. It is a little unsettling. I think I will bring Daliyah along next time I go there. For emotional support. She has this way of grounding me that nobody else comes even close to having.


I must confess that I have little idea of what I am supposed to do in a marriage. When I asked my father, he said that things did not have to be different and that it is more of a collaboration now. Relina said it's more like a unity, basically, of people completing each other or stuff like that. She has got the weirdest answers to things.
I think once my child is born, it will dawn on me. I am both excited and nervous about that. I am becoming a father at a very young age. I hope my inexperience will not harm the child in any way. I want him to have as good a childhood that I had. Or her.
I kind of hope for a daughter. I should be wanting a son, but I admit to liking the idea of having daughters a lot more.

Either way, we are in for quite the little adventure, Daliyah and I.



~ Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

#2

<The text seems to have been written a tad aggressively, leaving indents on the paper.>

Dear journal,

I feel somewhat discouraged today. I took a break from my usual routine and decided to check out some noises over at the arena, and I found one Jack Lanterns and Lady Relina to be dueling down there. It was supposedly a spar, but it was very noisy and full of explosions.
At one point, Jack Lanterns even hovered in the air, surrounded by intense energy. It was almost as though I was looking straight into a star. And when he landed atop Relina, it was a pretty big and loud explosion.
I met this girl, Yennifer... at least I think that is how it is spelled. She explained to me it was just how mana beasts spar.

Well I disagree with it. The city is supposed to be a sanctuary for warriors and civilians alike, where they may live in peace without needing to worry about being attacked. It is not always easy to tell where explosions are coming from, and the natural reaction for most people when they near a nearby explosion is understandably panic. They do not think, "Oh those dastardly mana beasts are at it again."
Mr. Jack defended it by saying that the city has been through worse. That 'some people cannot take the reality of combat.' That is a concerning response, indicative of the lack of respect for the public that I notice is prevalent in many supremely powerful beings.
The reality of war is that it leaves behind victims who barely hang on to their lives and have enough trouble adjusting to peace. I know what remains in the wake of war, and that war happens is no excuse to frighten the public.
Mr. Jack is arrogant and careless, and callous toward the victims of war. I will have to discuss this with the guard captain.

I have resolved to discuss this with my father. There should be no such thing as an explosion in a simple arena spar; if it must happen, then the spar should occur in High Garden or in the cave of challenges.
The city is a sanctuary, and I truly do believe that as a sanctuary, it should be free of explosions. A sanctuary is simply no place to be playing 'war' and excusing improper behaviour with 'this is reality.'

~ Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

# 3

Dear journal,

I spoke with my father about the incident at the arena earlier and he agreed with me that explosions are definitely inappropriate for just a simple spar. I learned that Jack is known to the crown,  and that his loyalties are questionable at best. Like many other people in this empire, his loyalty lies to the land of Lismore and not in the people who help keep it running.  I agree with my father; if it weren't for us,  Lismore would be divided into multiple factions all vying for power instead of uniting together to create a strong Lismore... But that is a subject for another time.

Father agreed that Jack had disrespected me and he promised to give the man a good talking to. And we will be putting into effect a new law banning explosions from the city. A boy who falsely cries wolf too many times is not believed when there is actually a wolf, and we need to keep the explosions to a minimum.

While we were talking, we also touched upon the subject of inheritance and I finally decided to express my desire to be emperor and the doubts I possess in regards to my brother Valric. I do not think that father gave it much thought, but he allowed me to sit on the throne as he talked to me about the responsibilities of an emperor and just how busy and tiring it can be on a single day. It has given me some pause to think. I still want to be emperor but it is dawning on me that there is a lot more to the job than I initially expected.
At least we decided to make my clothing thing a bit of a game. I get to be as girly as I want, and he gets to offset it by selecting manly, fancy clothes. I look forward to see what he comes up with.

I visited the desert today with ny friend, Khaleem. He is a ramau as well, although not of the same breed as Daliyah. He seems nice. Albeit slightly pathetic, the way he would grovel in the sand. We saw the renegades together, had a nice chat with Queen Kami, and then with this big wolf that showed up after she'd left. I had hoped for sex but that did not happen. I returned home quite aroused. Pretty sure Daliyah approved.


~ Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

#4

Dear journal,

Winterfest is in full swing this year and I have finally been able to properly enjoy the snow that has fallen upon the Lismorean Empire. People are celebrating with all their hearts, carollers are singing songs from door to door. There are feasts spread across the empire, and my braziers have proven to be very popular with the homeless like expected.
Yuna is out working the soup kitchen for a change. Can you imagine? Yuna at the soup kitchen! She is feeding the homeless and the downtrodden, like a true royal. Alyssa and Velius are enjoying their time together as wife and husband, and it is nice to see that she has come so far in being able to enjoy herself. She used to be so shy.
Arwyn and his two girls have been having fun as well. Though I must admit it tends to get a bit crowded in bed these days. I have been considering asking father to give us a new place to stay. With a baby on the way, our shared bedroom is going to become too small. Perhaps we can have a house built for ourselves.

Mother and father are celebrating in the ways they know best, which is in a simple word: loud. In three: loud and messy. It is a little amusing that mother and father both still have the energy for each other, especially with their growing age. Mother looks so tired most of the time, and father is a lot like me! I hardly think his dick has any pause between its plunges.
I suppose I should be a little bit more careful where I put mine.

I managed to sneak out today, escaped my guards. Had a little adventure of my own and I came across this wounded squirrel. It seemed to have taken a fall, and it could not move its lower body. The thing was in agonizing pain and I should have put it out of its misery right away. Yet I found myself strangely fascinated by its predicament. It was dying, right there in front of me. Like the orc I killed in the cave of challenges. Except this time, it was real. I watched it for an hour until the life finally left its eyes and I felt... unaffected. When I killed the orc, I felt a little shocked. Surprised, more than anything, that I had it in me to kill even something that is trying to kill me.
I could have spared this squirrel its pain or even taken it to a temple healer, but I did not. Instead I used it to learn that death does indeed not bother me. Watching something -- or someone die, it means little.
This warrants further investigation. But I should be careful using living beings for my experiments. Perhaps I can peruse the cave of challenges. I will need to give its proprietors a really good sell to convince them to conjure up things for me to do 'things' to without fighting them. If watching someone die bothers me so little, how am I affected by other things? How will I be a good prince if I am just as cold towards suffering?

In the meantime I will carry on like normal. I will be my usual caring self and work to make Lismore an ever better place to be.
And planning out how we are going to be able to make the move into a bigger place. A challenging task to balance between all my other obligations.

I will manage.

~ Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

#5

Dear journal,

My daughter has been born! It is going on a few weeks ago by now, but life has been so hectic since her arrival that I simply have not had time to write. She is a beautiful little girl and we have named her Ariel.

It is strange being a father myself. I still feel so attached to my own parents, and now I am one myself and it is an odd combination of feeling too young and inexperienced, and responsible and adult all at the same time. And the bond I feel with little Ariel, it goes beyond anything I have ever felt before. It is pride and love and devotion all at once, and I know now what it feels like to fall so unequivocally in love with someone, even more so than I felt for Daliyah when I fell for her.

With Ariel's birth comes a new burden to weigh upon my shoulders. I have been given a monumental task, one greater than waiting around to be emperor: to provide for, to protect, and to raise a life. I may become responsible for so many more lives in the future but at this moment, the only life I feel matters is Ariel's!
With this burden comes new questions: Will I be a good father to my daughter? How am I supposed to teach her about a world I am only just beginning to understand myself? Even more importantly, how will I protect her from the savage world outside the palace walls? A world where she will be in constant danger?

Even as I must figure out the answers to my questions, my attention is yet drawn toward the goddess Inari and the new shrine that is to be built. My father has forbidden me from officially supporting or even helping to fund its construction with royal resources so I will have to get creative. The effort is being spearheaded by the fennec girl Sapphire Natine -- my brother Xylan's wife-to-be had he not deserted us in favour of some undead cat. My brother is a necrophiliac, I have come to realize, which is not only disgusting but shameful to the family. I miss him, but may he never return.
I digress. Without funding, the shrine -- and certainly any notion of a temple up in High Garden -- will surely fail. We will have to put our heads together to figure this one out. My sister Yuna is a devout follower of Inari as well, perhaps I can get her to pull some strings with the Vances and divert a chunk of their gold towards the effort.
Crowdfunding may also be an option; the people of Lismore enjoy their good causes even if they do not fully understand them nor are affected at all by them. Convincing them to give money to a god they do not follow should be a simple task.

I visited the infirmary a day or so ago. The High Priestess herself treated my eyes and relieved the strain I have been feeling for the past several months. Mishra had attempted to medicate me but treatment has proven to be ineffective. An orange foxramau and miss Sapphire mentioned to us that it could be allergies and I believe they may have been correct. I forewent my perfumes today and used a new soap purchased from Fennecia to clean myself with, and my eyes have not worsened. In fact I feel as though I can breathe easier as well.
As a result I have made sure to discard of any incense around the palace, as well as of my perfume collection. The perfumes have been donated to the homeless. Inari knows they could use it, those smelly bums.

~ Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

#6

Dear journal,

Life is hectic these days. Between the studies, my magic, the Rawrbites, my wife and my daughter Ariel, I have had very little time to myself and I kind of love it that way. The days before had been awfully dull but now I've always got something to do, and it's great!

And I am so proud of Ariel, I can't even begin to describe it. She has grown very quickly into the most beautiful young lady, and she is very bright. A little too bright sometimes. I thought Daliyah and I could shake her for a little romp at the Cave of Challenges but she found us. There was a moment when I thought I perhaps scared her, when I failed one of my spells and burned myself, but turns out she handles it better than I thought. In fact she seemed oddly fascinated with the damage I'd done to myself.
That's a bit of a warning sign... I'll have to keep an eye out for that.

Those who may read this journal in the future, should I ever allow it, you may probably notice that my handwriting is terrible. I can barely read it myself. Ariel, however, has the most perfect calligraphy in all the empire. I pushed her hard to get there, and it was a struggle for the both of us, but she writes like a goddess now. One of my better accomplishments. I can't have a noble's handwriting but now at least she doesn't need to know how humiliating that is. Heck, I think we could make a handwriting contest now and she would win it. Well she would have anyway because I would have bribed the judges, but now she can actually win a contest for herself.

She's a very artisitic girl, and for once in the Fu Sheng line, the child has many things in common with their parent. We share a love for the same kind of books, the same kind of entertainment... Similar academic interests... It's nice. I thought it wasn't possible for children to be like their parents.


Moving on... New Eden fell recently. A First Kingdom attack caused the destruction of the place and now we've got Edeners up to our necks. There is no place for them to go but to the Temple and to High Garden, and I've been told that the healers in the Temple are overworked. The New Eden people's health was so bad. It is something I am going to have to address with Mezmer Kane at some point.
I have learned through a little bit of research that it seems they were allowed entry into New Eden by way of necromantic magics, a practice we have banned in Lismore. I learned that Navaru has been strangely absent in the weeks leading up to the attack and I plan to have him brought in for questioning about that. It seems suspicious that the moment Navaru took a prolonged sabbatical, the First Kingdom entered our empire. I hope he is not in cahoots with our enemy.
I can see that necromancy would have been useful to have during the encounter. And if our enemy practices the art, it is important we learn about it. I am not certain if I am comfortable with allowing it to be taught to the general public, but I will attempt to persuade my father to allow a limited licence to practice.

Yamanu appears to remain in the wind, and he has been missing since Topaz's death. Topaz, of course, was a gray fennec -- son of Solrin and Maia Natine, two owners of Hotel Fennecia. Topaz was purportedly an apprentice of Yamanu's, so we suspect the counnec may have had something to do with his death. And Yamanu is a necromancer. He masks it with the title 'spiritmancer' but we all know what he does. He is one of many reasons why necromancy is banned now.

I must admit to a certain curiosity. If I can get Dad to allow a limited practice of the art, I could convince Navaru to teach me the craft.


The new temple for Inari has been raised at last and I am quite proud to say that I helped build it! And I hope Inari will recognize me for my efforts in providing this temple for Her too. It is a beautiful pagoda made with Roman concrete, with cedar floors and I'm not sure what the roof is made of. Radem seemed confused as to why I had worked on his chambers myself. I think he expected something else from me.
In fact, overall I think people are fairly surprised that I am so worldly as I am. They don't expect that I care about them, nor do they expect that I'm willing to do so much work for them. Like, what am I? Some kind of noble? I am a prince! Of course I do work for them! That is my job!
But I'll admit to a certain level of altruism with Radem's chambers. He doesn't have much and as a priest of Inari -- a role I hope I may sometime inhabit --  he is entitled to some comforts. It's hard work, tending to other people. If anyone knows how important it is to have a comfortable den to return to, it's I.

Radem probably still thinks there is something fishy going on. He's so paranoid. He doesn't even know that I plan to release him, as soon as I am emperor. If I am emperor. I wonder how he will react to that. As a free man, he will no longer have anyone to fight. I am concerned that is all he knows how to do, and that he might not be able to function properly without that 'bigger man' to oppose.

We'll see.

~ Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

#7

It has been a while since my last entry. I find myself too busy with both royal affairs and my life as a socialite to truly afford myself the time to write about anything. But this one, I feel I need to pause to write about.
I recently visited Inari’s shrine again, this time with an offering and a plead for something else to do but bore myself with all my usual daily activities. What I got, however, was far more sinister. Conveyed by Foxy no less. Foxy is what I call the spirit fox that regularly appears to the followers of the goddess.
The message I received was that I would not become king following my current path. Worse yet, I would have to pay a terrible price for my regency. This little prophecy presented by Her fox has made me worried. What terrible price could this be? Foxy knows that there is very little I wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice for the throne, so now my mind races with ideas as to exactly what this price might be. Could it be the life of my siblings? ... Of Daliyah? ... Ariel? My own sanity? Or would my ascension to the throne lead to its fall?

It is difficult for me to find some measure of peace now, knowing what I do. Foxy is rarely wrong. If he says there will be a terrible cost to mh kingship, then I believe him.

I haven’t yet shared this prophecy with anyone else. Least of all with my wife. I need to think. I need to figure out what this means. And then, if I truly cannot ever be king, I don’t yet know what to do. What would I be, if not the emperor?

- Ascari Fu Sheng

[Tenaar Feiri]

#8

Valric is a prude disingenuous two-faced fucking asshole of a dickwad.


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